Naissance
by Ruaki
Summary: SolKy??? ^^; ::has no idea how to describe this fic::


Naissance [Beginnings] **Naissance [Beginnings]**

**Main BGM:**  
_"Kimi wa ikiru imi sagasukedo kagayaitekarademo osokunai...  
Kimi wa aino imi sagasukedo mou mayowazuni dakishimete...  
Your mind ...  
Imaijou subetega kagayakeba ii ne ..."_  
~Luna Sea, "Shine" [_Shine_] 

**Alternative BGM:**  
_"Boku wa kono me de mita yo...  
Soshite tsugi wa jibun no ban datte koto mo...  
shitte iru hontou wa..."_  
~Hamasaki Ayumi, "Duty" [_Duty_] 

++++++++ r + e + t + u + r + n ++ t + o ++ i + n + n + o + c + e + n + c + e ++++++++

The wind was thin, tossing powdery snow over the delicately iced surface of the creek. The sky was a strange, ethereal blue broken only by wisps of clouds up in the heavens. It was cold, the kind that crawled under the skin to chill the bone, but the world was magical. 

It was magical because today was his birthday. He was seven years old. He would be trained as a page for God's holy army come this spring. 

The boy huddled closer to the naked tree, for the thin wind made the cold all the more biting. He was waiting for his father to come home--to come home from a war that seemed so far far away from their chateau in the Parisian countryside. To come home for his birthday. His eyes were trained so steadily on the cobblestone road beyond the stream that they began to sting. But he didn't dare blink or rub the pain away, in case he missed his father's horse riding by. 

"Ky Kiske! You'll catch your death out here!" 

Ky jumped at the sudden shattering of the peaceful winter silence, tumbling off the gnarled root he was perched on. "Soeur!" 

His older sister looked down at him, her fine brows drawn together in a V-shape in an indication of displeasure. She was bundled tightly in a woolen cloak, the hood pulled over dark hair, and her cheeks were already tinted pink. Another cloak was draped over one arm. 

The boy pulled himself to his feet, dusting off snow. "You scared me!" He made a face at her, rubbing his hands together to warm them. 

Simone dropped the second cloak atop her brother's head. "I have been looking _everywhere_ for you, you little urchin. What in God's name are you doing out here?" 

He gratefully pinned the cape on underneath the chin, pulling up the hood till only his nose poked out from the warmth of the cloth. "I am waiting," Ky murmured quietly, once again looking out to the empty roadway. 

"For Papa?" Simone sat primly on the root, pulling Ky down into her lap. "We can wait together then." 

He smiled, burrowing against his sister's warmth. Simone was so wonderful. She was strong-willed, and smart, and didn't take nonsense from anyone. She could be a little mean at times--she liked to boss him around just cause she was seven years older--but she was still very good to him, spoiling him rotten by helping him sneak treats before dinner and taking him into Paris when she ran errands. He loved her so much... 

Simone rested a chin on her brother's head. "What makes you think he's coming now?" 

"I do not know. However, I will wait as long as I have to." He pulled his sister's arms around him securely. "I want to be the first to welcome him home." 

Simone laughed. "Of course. He's your idol." 

"I will be a great knight like him someday." His reedy voice was determined, eyes steeled on the avenue ahead. Just like his Papa, a high-ranking officer in the Seikishidan, the Holy Order of Knights chosen by God to fight against the evil demons called 'Gears.' Next spring, he would begin his training as a page. 

A few moments of comfortable tranquility. Ky was feeling sleepy from the cozy warmth and the magical winter was beginning to blur into a magical sleep. 

"What if he doesn't come back today, Ky?" 

"Mmm?" The boy jerked awake, rubbing an eye. "...he will come back today. God tells me he will come back today." 

She was silent. 

And they waited. 

Polaris had begun to shine brightly in the dim sky when Bourdeaux found them still huddled against the tree. The butler lifted his lantern and politely informed them that dinner ready and their mother wished them inside at once. 

Ky was subdued during the walk back to the sprawling Kiske estate, his head bowed. Simone wrapped an arm around his thin shoulders. "He didn't forget your birthday, Ky. The war just delayed him a little." 

The boy remained quiet, but his muscles tensed beneath her arm.. 

"Ky...?" 

"I will be a great knight, just like him, soeur," Ky replied softly, lifting his head to stare at her with oddly adult azure eyes. "So no other boys will have to worry about their papas not being there on their birthday." And he bowed his head again. 

He had heard from God that his father was dead. God didn't lie to him about his father coming back home--he just misinterpreted it. His father did indeed return home--back to the dust from which he was created. 

++++++++ e + n + d + l + e + s + s ++ q + u + e + s + t ++++++++

I would always remember that night. Cold. Foreign. Magical. It was not until the next day that we received a telegram that my father had perished in a skirmish on the Sicilian front. 

But I already knew. 

How many other little boys went through my experience? How many others will suffer now, because of my inept leadership? My fingers fumbled for the tiny golden pendant underneath my tunic, the metal cool to my feverish fingers. I kept every momento I could save from the wreckage that killed what remained of my family... Even Mama's treasured crucifix heirloom which I clutched onto even as she shielded me with her body from the attacks... 

No. Reminiscing was dangerous. 

The glowlamps lit the night-shrouded path I walked upon, casting eerie shadows upon the flora that covered the expansive garden which sprawled across the leeway of the Last Defense. An enormous maze of hedges encircled the center of the garden, but I navigated with a sure eye, having come here many times since my first arrival to the great fortress. 

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"Kiske.. Kiske..." Commander Kliff Undersn squinted at the spindly boy before him, as if he found him familiar. 

"My father was a knight as well, sir," Ky explained politely even as his gaze lowered to the floor. The boy, hardly thirteen, had been sent from England to join the ranks of the Seikishidan in the mighty, famous fortress of the Last Defense in Paris, France. Thirteen, and already a knight. His instructor in England's Uni had been thoroughly impressed by Ky's fighting and magical aptitude. It was almost surreal. But the boy was a genius without a doubt. 

Kliff scratched his beard, eyeing the kid with renewed interest. "So you're Michel's brat? We thought the Kiskes were wiped out--" 

"During the raid on Paris, yes." Ky's voice was tight, clipped. He didn't want to think about it. His head shot up, large blue eyes cold and foreign in such an innocent, young face. 

Kliff frowned at the boy's tone, eyebrows drawn heavily over narrowed eyes. 

"Forgive me, sir," Ky added hastily, lowering his gaze once more. "It.. it is still too recent a thing for me to ..." 

Kliff waved his hand dismissingly, looking down at the papers the boy brought from the Uni as he smacked a boot onto his messy desktop. "Tactical Dweomer, huh." 

"Yes, sir." Ky glanced at Kliff with a proud posture. "Best of my class." 

"Technically, your "class" should still be in the squire stage." 

Ky smiled. "I know." Inwardly, his insides churned. It had been so strange... he was a Gelding--a being unable to wield or summon even the most simplest of magics, like lighting a glowlamp--and yet, somehow, he had gotten the ability to Channel power like anAdept. His memory had so many holes in it after... after.... no. He mustn't think about the past. 

A strange expression crossed the commander's face, but he said nothing else of it. "Infantry Point too, huh?" 

"Yes, sir." 

Kliff laughed. "Yeah, I should have expected that. Your dad was an amazing swordsman." 

"Yes sir, he was," Ky replied wistfully, heart aching. How he longed for his father to be beside him now, to fight the Gears together as he always imagined. Simone said it was a romantic and silly dream, but one he strongly clung to as a child. It was broken now though, like the rest. 

There was a rustle as Kliff flipped through the rest of the documents in silence before sitting up straight and scribbling onto the papers. "I think the TDD will be a good place for you to start." 

"Pardonne, but I am not afraid of the front lines, Commander sir." 

Kliff glared at Ky through bushy brows. "Don't question my judgment, Kiske," the short man growled. "There's where I need you, so that's where you go." 

With a salute, the boy apologized. 

The commander then summoned a page to show Ky his bunk and quarters. He was excited--while he had been a knight for a week already, he was now finally stationed somewhere. And it was no less than the Last Defense, the largest base of the Seikishidan. 

Here was no different than the routines and schedules when he was training as a squire, and a lot of it seemed much like the simulations he was pushed through at the Uni. 

Only one essential--and in Ky's opinion, the most important--difference. 

He now could finally kill Gears. 

No mercy. 

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Another memory that came unbidden... my obsession to kill the evil that was Gears... the Gears that took all I had and destroyed them in one fell swoop. Always.. always... 

No stars nor moon were out tonight. The sky was dully black, soaking up light as if it were the gaping maw of some huge monster. In the distance, the heavens rumbled in discontent. 

I emerged from the last row of hedges into the central hub of the maze. It was a small clearing, spotted with benches and rose buschels, as well as a marvelously carved marble statue of the Son of God, his pierced hands open and welcome. 

I fell to my knees at the statue's feet, pressing my forehead against the block upon which he stood. My Lord... I have failed You so greatly... failed You and lost many of Your people to the devils... That battle should not have happened--it could have been prevented--but I was so caught up in my new commander status that I did not heed Your Voice when You cried danger. I did not know which way to choose, scared I would pick the wrong one... and so I did... 

Please, please forgive me, Lord... take the guilt and sorrow and pain away... 

++++++++ m + o + d + e + r + n ++ c + r + u + s + a + d + e + r + s ++++++++

"I'm sure yall heard that I'm considering retiring. Chasing around Gears isn't as much fun as it used to be when your back goes out doing so." 

The assembled group of high-ranking officers all grinned at Kliff's lame attempt at humor. But Kliff was a little eccentric like that, dry humor and outlook stemming from long experience in the field and in life. 

Kliff shifted from his seat on the desktop, staring at the group steadily. "Well, I'm retiring. Duh. Now, the reason yall are here is cause there's the question of succession." He hopped off the tabletop, short legs stumping back and forth in front of the line of men. "Yall are great leaders, but frankly, you gotta be more than great to be the head commander. You gotta be inspiring, skilled, and quick with your head and feet." 

Everyone nodded. Some shifted, wishing Undersn would get to the point. Others more astute knew right who the new candidate would be. 

"Yeah, yeah, I can see you itching to get away from the ramblings of an old man. So I think we can all agree on just who fits those requirements." 

Some surreptitious glances about the room. 

"As such, I, Kliff Undersn, and the powers of the Council of Nations, formally declare before you as witnesses, the new leader of the Seikishidan to be..." Kliff stopped before a tall figure, whose young, boyish face glanced down at the man questioningly. "To be you, Ky Kiske." 

Ky's expression were pretty amusing at that moment, unsure if it wanted to be shocked, surprised, pleased, or anxious. His mouth worked. No sound came out. He tried again, yet his brain refused to cooperate, having packed its bags and moved down to some place nice, like Hawaii. He floundered. He sputtered. It was quite undignified. 

Meanwhile, everyone murmured in agreement and some even burst into applause. 

"I-I....?" Ky managed to stammer out. "B-but sir!!" 

Kliff patted the boy--sixteen years of age--on the arm. "You're the best for the job, and it seems like everyone else agrees. You've got the potential to be our next great leader. I know your father would have been proud of you." 

That quieted the newly nominated leader's protests. Ky sunk into a quiet retrospection as fellow knights clapped him on the shoulder in congratulations and good-will. He had worked hard in his years as a holy knight, having risen through the ranks so quickly that it stunned all and gained the notice of many important figures. An expert in swordplay and magic, he was also an intelligent strategist and a brilliant orator. Everyone liked him--could not help but like him, with his charming smile, young Athenian beauty, and loving, sensitive manner. 

He was flattered at being chosen, but.. it was such responsibility... everyone would depend on him more than ever... His eyes fluttered shut. His unit never lost a battle since he became captain, but this... this was the entire _force_ of the Seikishidan, spread all over the world... 

"You do have the right to refuse, Kiske," Kliff reminded him gently, looking into the boy's face with piercing grey eyes. 

But Ky couldn't, wouldn't refuse. And Kliff knew it. It was against Ky's very nature, his very drive in being a knight. 

After several tense moments, the boy finally opened his eyes to stare down at Kliff.. "It is God's will," Ky replied with quiet conviction. 

++++++++ t + h + e ++ c + h + i + l + d ++ i + n ++ u + s ++++++++

God had been silent through my reverie and prayer. I felt more alone than ever. 

I am not sure how long I knelt there... it was long enough for the blood to disappear from my legs, leaving a numb sensation not unlike that which had settled over my heart. I could not stop thinking about my earlier mistake, of how the course I would have normally chosen was overlooked because I suddenly felt the _weight_ of my title settle on my shoulders.. and I was terrified of making the wrong decision. So scared... And none of my advisors, none of my sub-commanders... they could not help me. So I made the fatal choice, because I doubted my ability to be the leader of the Seikishidan at such a crucial moment. Only a few months into the title, and already I have failed. 

My father would have been so disappointed. But at least he would have been here to reassure me. I do not even have that. No one. Even God has turned from me. 

How I long just to be a child!! .. but no one is a child any more.. even the tiny tots have a sense of maturity about them, dangerously aware of war and death that is next door to their playground. And because of humankind's sin, I, a lad of sixteen years, am the leader of man's last stand against our terrible enemy. 

"Why me, Lord? I am not worthy..." 

"So this is where you came crying off to." 

My back stiffened at the new voice. Footsteps crunched on grass and rocks as someone entered the small clearing at the center of the hedge maze, and I had no need to turn around to see who it was. 

++++++++ g + r + a + v + i + t + y ++ o + f ++ l + o + v + e ++++++++

Ky smiled warmly at the newcomer--he could easily recall his first day at the Last Defense. It was hard coming to a place one had never been before, and wondering if one would fit in and make a few friends... Plus, it was always pleasant to have a welcome, and toestablish a good relationship between commander and troops. He held out his hand. "We are happy to have you in our service, Monsieur Sol. " 

The tall, built stranger looked at him, ignoring the proffered hand. 

Ky's smile faltered for a moment. The crushing feeling of that gaze, partially hidden by unruly brown hair gave him pause. It seemed so familiar, those eyes... something he sawelsewhere... He could almost put his finger on it... 

The emotion in those eyes passed, shattering Ky's thoughts, and was replaced by something more familiar--dismissal. Sol smirked contemptuously, and brushed roughly byhim without a word, radiating disdain. The page that was leading the newcomer bowed apologetically at Ky and Kliff, before running off after his ward. 

Ky whirled around, any former brief illusions forgotten by the sheer audacity of this.. this.. lout..! to ignore his high commander's greeting. 

"_That_ is your new recommendation, sir?" Ky glared at Sol's back. 

Kliff chuckled, a little nervously. "He might be a little unconventional, but his skills are amazing. And that is what is important." 

Ky growled, still glaring. "Swordmanship aside, if he does not improve his attitude, he might find himself transferred to the worst region I can think of." 

"I think you're being a little unfair, Kiske... You just met him." Kliff shifted, flashing a wobbly smile. 

The boy commander tossed his head almost haughtily. "First impressions are everything, are they not, sir?" 

++++++++ a + g + e ++ o + f ++ l + o + n + e + l + i + n + e + s + s ++++++++

"Leave me alone, Sol," I snapped, not even bothering to turn around. "I am not in the mood for your games." 

Of course, he will not listen. He is the type not to listen--he does whatever he wants, when he wants. I am amazed that someone as selfish as him had any desire to become a knight--that he did not refuse Commander Undersn's offer when first confronted with it. 

"Talking to your God, eh?" He was standing behind me. 

I turned my head to shoot what I hoped to be a very blistering glare at him from the corner of my eye. "He is your God as well." 

Sol was dressed simply in trousers and a tank top, his hair messily arranged as always about the forever present headband with the words "Rock You" crudely carved into the material. He also wore his custom devil-may-care expression, marked only by his own brand of a smirk that was forever mocking and demeaning me. 

"Not my God, boy." 

I have had this argument with him before--and I was not in the mood to lecture him again. Whatever I said went in one ear and out the other, anyhow. He was only kept in the force for his swordmanship--if he did not have that, I would have been rid of him a long timeago. So, I contented myself on ignoring him, turning back to the feet of Jesus. As long as I do not react, he would leave. Please go away, I prayed to myself, staring fixedly ahead. 

He did the opposite, standing beside me in front of the statue, looking up at it with a bemused expression. Of _course_ he would do the opposite--why do I expect otherwise? "So what did He tell you?" 

"That is none of your business." 

"Heh. You seemed a little upset by that battle. Just wondering if your God gave you some advice." 

"What do you care?!" 

"I don't. But the last thing the knights need is their leader suffering a breakdown." 

I stood abruptly, whirling to face him. "Do you not realize how many people suffered today?!" 

Sol raised a brow. "Obviously." 

My fingers curled against my palms, nails digging into flesh. "Obviously _not_!!! How can you be so callous?! You are no better than the Gears!" 

He grabbed my wrist, twisting it painfully. I will never forget his expression, a mix between fury and hatred--aimed at me or some other object, I could not tell. I refused to cry out in pain, biting down on my lip and willing my body to remain still instead of instinctively following course to lessen the agony. 

"Watch your tongue, boy," he growled low, half-hidden eyes flashing. 

"Well, I am right, am I not?!" My voice rose, almost frantic. I could feel the strands of my control slowly slipping through my fingers. 

His fingers dug deeply into my skin--I would have bruises there later--and brought his face right up to mine. I never realized how feral Sol truly was till this moment, the orange-brown--almost crimson--eyes otherworldly in feel and emotion. I saw myself reflected in them... the image was not of the new, great young leader of the Seikishidan... but a lost little boy. I tried to shrink away, but it only made him jerk me closer. 

"What makes you think humans are so different from Gears, boy?" He lost that growling, furious voice, yet this new, low, soft one frightened me even more. "At least Gears fight because they were fucking designed and ordered to--humans murder and hurt each other of their own free will, don't they?" 

I turned my head away from my reflection. "Let me go," I replied hoarsely, squeezing my eyes shut. He was not right. Gears... Gears were inherently evil... humans wereinherently good--but the Devil, Lucifer, Satan, the dragon... he was the one that seduced God's children into worlds of sin... 

"Humans can be helluva more unemotional and apathetic than Gears, boy. What else can you say drives a serial killer to do what he does? Tell me that, boy. At least Gears were created to be that way. Humans got no damn excuse other than to say that 'the devil' made them fuckin' do it. Don't think you're better than Gears." 

"Let me go!" I attempted to jerk my arm from his iron grip, and surprisingly, he released me. Stumbling back against the statue, I slumped over, wrapping arms around myself andshivering. I watched him through strands of blond hair, weary. Too tired to fight or argue back... We had only known each other for a short time, and disliked each other since that moment of meeting, but tonight... I had no will to repartee with this barbarian. 

The tension left his shoulders at my lack of reaction and those eyes stared at some point to the left. If he was anyone else, I would say that he felt contrite about his previous displayof temper... but this was Sol. An apology would never be forthcoming... and I did not expect it. 

"Do you... do you think the war will ever end?" My mouth and throat were dry--the question came out as a rasp, but it broke the stillness that grew too long to be comfortableany more. Such is the tension that always existed between us. 

"It will," he replied shortly, still in foul temper. His hand twitched. He looked like he was craving something. Probably nicotine.. he smoked--such a disgusting habit. 

I laughed, long and hard, bitterness and hopelessness rising up to choke me. "When we're all dead, right?" Covering my face with a hand, I tossed my head back, still laughing andunable to stop. Why was I chosen, God, father, Commander Undersn? I am just a child.. I might be talented, but... I cannot bear this weight alone.. and none of you are helping me!! None of you!!! Why!? 

Why... will no one ... help me...? 

Suddenly, I could not take it anymore. This loneliness... This duty... all were too much formy shoulders, the responsibility of so many lives, of so many dreams... Even God's guiding hand was no longer enough (forgive me Lord). He did not take away the solitude nor lessen the hardship. Were You not supposed to carry me when I fell? Will You just leave me in the dirt to die? I have failed You so... please do not turn away from me... 

I no longer cared that I had now thrown myself against my rival, clinging to him like somehysterical child as I wept and pleaded for answers from God. Nevermind that he incensed me to no end, that he was rude and uncaring, and represented everything I abhorred.... he was _here now_ and I desperately needed someone here and now. 

Sol let me be for a few moments, before pushing me away by the shoulders and then smacking me with a resounding thwack across the face. 

"Stop being so damn over-emotional." He sounded disturbed. 

It was silent in the garden again, except for my hiccups and sniffles. I could only stare at his blurry figure in shock from such indifferent words and actions. Absently rubbing acold hand against the offended cheek, I dully wondered why I was indulging to such a monster. Why I showed weakness. 

"So you lost." He dug into a pants pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes, lighting a smoke with a match. Shaking his hand to extinguish the fire on the match, he tossed it carelessly away. "It happens. But we didn't lose the war, boy." 

I snapped out of my daze, dashing tears from my eyes even as I yelled, "And what about the people that died? The knights, the civilians and bystanders?! Every battle is important because of the lives involved!" 

He took a long drag and blew the smoke into my face. "People all die someday, boy. And so what if it's sooner than later? It's not like life is any sort of party right now." 

Coughing, I withdrew from him, turning my head away as new tears rose in my eyes. He did not understand. How could such doggerel understand how precious someone was tosomeone else? Papa... Mama... Simone... My fault... someone lost someone precious because of my inept leadership.... 

"Yeah, you screwed up," Sol agreed. I blinked, realizing I had said my last thought aloud. 

"But humans learn from their mistakes, boy," he continued mercilessly. "It's when you do it again that you're a fucking moron." With the cigarette perched between his lips, helooked up at the empty night sky, hands behind his head. "Lemme tell you something--all the humans have against Gears is hope, boy. That's the only reason humans survived this long. Don't lose it. Keep hoping to win--and then do it. You'll win, you'll lose, but always remember what the hell you're aiming for." 

I said nothing, rubbing at my eyes with the heels of my palms. Hope.... huh...? 

Thin curls of haze escaped Sol's lips as he pulled away the cigarette. "It's gonna rain." 

'Ky... did you know you were born from our hope and prayers? We thought you wouldn't make it.. it's God's own miracle that you survived... It's such a powerful thing, this 'faith'...'   
'Never give up, young master... determination, perseverance, and hope--they'll be your keys to achieving your dreams.' 

"... what do you hope for.. Sol...?" My voice cracked. 

A long pause as if the other was considering. The clouds overhead rumbled in discontent,and a few drops of water splattered onto my cheeks. 

And then he grinned that infuriating smirk of his at me. Yet, as the lightning flashed and the glowlamps grew dim, that grin was different. No longer simply derisive, but _self_ mocking. Crushing the cherry of his cigarette on his boot and then tossing the butt away, he turned, long hair billowing as he rounded the hedges and disappeared from view. 

Still, the wind carried his words to me--full of anger, longing, and some foreign emotion I would never be able to comprehend. 

-I hope to be free.- 

It started to rain. I remained there, confused and frustrated, soaking up rain whilesoaking in our conversation. And then I fell to my knees in the mud, and prayed. 

++++++++ t + h + e ++ r + i + v + e + r + s ++ o + f ++ b + e + l + i + e + f ++++++++

"--yesterday's defeat was crushing to all of us. We lost people dear to our hearts, and people dear to others. The Battle of the Wall will not be repeated, and it will be rectified with the deaths of our enemies. The war is not yet lost, my brothers... it never will be lost as long as we remember to keep our eyes focused on victory, and not on despair or defeat.   
"For it is through that hope that we will execute God's will and destroy the Gears--that hope which will push us forward even as others fall, that hope which will give us strength when we no longer have any, that hope which will pull us through the long nights in the fields when supplies are low and the base surrounded.   
"That hope.. which will remind us that we are not simply fighting for our own survival, but for the freedom of everyone around us." 

Attendance for Mass was much smaller than it normally was, many of the knights still in the infirmary, while others have returned to the arms of God. It was disheartening to see to many familiar faces missing, to see the bandaged heads and limbs of the brave souls insearch of guidance from God and their leader.... 

Yes.. guidance. As weak as I was, they still looked to me for leadership and reassurance. I could not give them that.... 

However, I could still fan the flames of faith within... 

My eyes sought out one face in the crowd--I was surprised he was present; he had never attended before unless forced to by legionnaires. Even now he seemed asleep in the pew he had only to himself (no one liked him), chin resting on his chest and arms folded comfortably. 

When I paused in my speech, he had looked up and caught my gaze beneath wild strands of dark hair. For a moment, there was an odd shared sense of empathy--and I realized why God had deigned us--so different in personality and ethics--to meet. 

I smiled, closing the rhetoric--reminding the knights of memorial services before this evening's Mass--and turned the podium over to the pastor for sermon. 

"Everyone, please turn to hymn number five-eleven, 'Am I a Soldier of the Cross.' We shall sing all stanzas today." 

Standing behind the podium, I kept my eyes on my napping rival even as I lifted my voice in song. ....I really meant it, Sol, what I said. Every word. I fight so that young boys will continue to hope their fathers come home.. and I fight to set us all free. Even you. I might lose a battle, but I'll never give up the war. 

And maybe, when you are free, Sol... you will no longer have such haunted eyes that blind you to the beauty of God's great work. God has spoken to me thusly. 

"Sure I must fight, if I would reign;  
increase my courage, Lord.   
I'll bear the toil, endure the pain,  
supported by thy word. "  


I _will_ save you. 

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**Author Notes?**

Hi hi hi! o.@ Wow.. a long short story.. never though I'd do one again since 'Saint'... yare yare.. 

It's weird. Runs like a freaky movie to me, with all the constant flashbacks and then the sudden switch to present-moment. Ky's already slipping off the deep end, huh? 

Thanks mainly goes to Kat-chan, for patiently cranking out fics for my drooling fangirl-ness. =P Since I only have the ever crappy brain|damage as a contribution, I decided to do something a little more noteworthy so she doesn't feel alone. =P Hope you enjoyed this, Kat-chan, god knows I'm surprised I finished it. ^^;; 

The fic was relatively easy to write, but the main problem was Sol's reactions to everything.. o.@ I have such a hard time understanding kitsune-kun, much less being able to convey him right. Ky? NOooooooooOOOoooOOoo problem. Sol? Er... 'That goes here and this goes there, right?' ^^;; So I hope he reacted satisfactory enough to the handful of peeps out there that actually read this stuff. ^^; 

If you haven't heard "Shine" yet, go do so. The guitar strums in that--especially the last stanza--are just lovely. Mrow. And props for people that can read the lil' messages in the story breaks AND know where they came from. =P 

Yes, 'Am I a Soldier of the Cross' is a real hymn. ^^; 

I feel like doing something Anji x Chipp now. =P 

Hope you enjoy!! Feel free to review--flames are used as a popular entertainment form for my webpage. ^_~ 

~in endless victory of yourself: [heaven.coming.down][1]~ 

   [1]: http://heaven.morethanart.org



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